DEAR DIARY
He finally had the ability to walk all over me and I could not do a thing. He had me wrapped up around his little finger and I craved his approval and love. Things sailed smoothly but when they did not, I would have rather gotten down on my knees to beg for forgiveness…whether I was at fault or not. You see love is a powerful force and when it’s granted to the wrong hands it can be used as a weapon. In my eyes he could do no wrong and when he did, I would swallow my pride and let it go because I valued my relationship more than my ego.
You can imagine the devastating state I was in when I found suggestive texts sent to some girls. ‘I’ve started falling for you’ ‘Wah you’re killing me with that beautiful body’ ‘Your waist is perfect for cow girl you know’. One after the other I read the texts, each like a knife through my heart, each more painful than the other. He had a constant girl, I knew her and it was killing me that she was responding to the texts knowing that I’m his girlfriend. It troubled me for days until it finally hit me, did she really know if I was his girlfriend? I needed to confront him.
I made up a story of how I came to know of the texts and told him of how I was not comfortable with it. He laughed at me and told me something I would never forget ‘I’m yours, don’t worry’. This was of course not satisfactory to me and I kept pestering him about it. He would always wonder where I was getting the information from but I couldn’t tell him I was going through his phone. I refused to drop the issue with this girl and he even admitted that he had never really mentioned to her that he had a girlfriend. ‘I like my life private that’s all’. My God how stupid could I have been!
This went on for some weeks until finally he dropped the bomb on me, ‘You worry too much and it’s like you don’t trust me. If you don’t trust me just tell me now we break up.’ I never spoke of it again.
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Captivating. It’s leaving me with an urge to get more……