Personally, I’ve had more why-I’m-I-like-this moments than I’d care to admit. I have realized that Society rarely likes Different. You are taught to accept all of you, to be bold, to speak up, and express yourself in a way that reflects the unique streak you have inside of you. But the truth is, you’ll also be criticized for it. Different is not normal. It is abnormal. It is unpredictable. So society sets standards. Standards of normalcy you are supposed to conform to. And these standards are used to curb abnormality.
Sometimes it’s easier to be who society wants you to be. It saves you a lot of trouble. On the outside, you are the poster guy for a good citizen, husband, son, or father. And life goes on as it should be. On the inside however, it’s suffocating. You become a shell of yourself, existing but never living. And you hate your life, because that’s just not you.
Most times, life demands that you give more than you have. Be more than you are. And to fulfill this, you have to transition into this other person. Become a carbon copy that looks, talks and acts like you, but really isn’t. So being encouraged to be me without seeking approval or certification is sound advice, but this is the real world where you have to survive. Where you sometimes don’t have your cake and eat it.
Life is made of compromises. Sometimes we have to sacrifice something in order to get something better in return. Personally, I usually cherish the moments I get to be alone and free to pursue something I truly love and are passionate about. In those few moments, I am free, because I get to breathe and relish the feel of my own skin against the backdrop of societal expectations. But like all good things that must come to an end, gravity brings me back down and reminds me to work hard in maintaining a society-picture-worthy image, put back up the wall that covers my true self.
It’s reasonable to compromise, but don’t lose yourself struggling to please a society that will still criticize you regardless of the path you choose. I envy those who are bold enough to be different, who embrace and accept the unique aspects in themselves and use them as a stepping stone for their personal growth. I hope I get to be that daring someday.
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