Maybe Its The Fault In Our Stars

we have got to change our ethics and our financial system and our whole way of understanding the world. It gets lonely sometimes.  Those Saturday nights when you just want to be indoors cuddled on a couch Netflix and chilling with your boo, t-shirt and no pants on and a huge bowl of popcorn and coke . Or lazy Sunday afternoons when you fight over who’ll go get food from the kitchen. Or random Tuesday when all you need is a simple good morning text thats enough to get you going. My point is there’s that special someone your heart is always waiting on. That’s not a privilege girls without boyfriends get to enjoy. And the worst part is you have to love someone silently waiting for your turn. What if it never comes? I see you kissing her goodnight, pulling her in when its cold, telling her she looks good in that pair of shorts you like. And it kills me. Coz that should be me. At 3am when i turn to the empty side of the bed and it hits me that you are with her. I live every second waiting for you to call saying you called it quits with her. That you are heartbroken. And I’ll be there to give you a shoulder to lean on. Let you pour out your soul to me. I will be patient and listen to every word you say. Like my life depends on them. Coz it does. And you’d fall in love with me again. Only this time it would be different. You won’t have to try hard to get me. And i won’t play hard to get. Coz I waited forever to finally have you.
Last week the worst happened. I felt life drain out of me. Life lost its meaning the moment you dropped the bomb. You can’t see me anymore, you said you still loved me but you couldn’t just hurt her. I still don’t understand how that’s possible but i said I did. I watched you walk away. The taste of mint from your saliva still in my mouth from our very last kiss. I bit my lower lip as i tried to stop tears from flowing but how could they. It was a major loss. I was frozen for a moment. It was already too much to take loving you knowing that you loved someone else. But i was okay with that. There was hope of us being together. However, knowing that you’ll never be mine was a rejection i can’t live with. You said we could still be friends. I refuse to be zoned…that’s why starting now I hope we never cross paths. Maybe it’s the fault in our stars.

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